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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Attitude In Relationship Marketing

By Terry L. Brock

“Attitude is everything.” Keith Harrell

When times are tough, people like to find scapegoats. They want to blame someone else for their problems. “Gas prices are too high.” “The economy is to blame.” “If only we had different politicians in (pick a location, federal, state, local, etc.).” The list of excuses goes on and on.

However, that doesn’t square with reality and what has happened over the centuries. The truth of the matter is that your success is largely up to you and you alone. Sorry, but you can’t blame someone else. You have to take control of your own life and make it happen.

This is both discouraging and encouraging news--- it just depends on how the you receive it. The best part of this is that having the right attitude will effect your Relationship Marketing. Think about it: Unless you’re already independently wealthy, the money you get in the future is going to come from other people. To get that money from other people (without initiation of force or violence) you have to persuade them to willingly give you their money. They have to see solid real value and trust you.

Building value and increasing trust is what Relationship Marketing is all about. You develop relationships with potential suppliers, buyers, colleagues and other stakeholders in your personal “enterprise” and it pays off in the long run.

The foundation of all relationships is your attitude. The good news is that you can choose to have a great attitude no matter what happens.

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
Helen Keller:

Helen Keller was right. We have to look for new opportunities. Yes, things are tight now in many sectors. This has happened many times before in history. If we don’t study history we certainly are condemned to live it over and over as George Santayana warned us long ago. Study history. See what others have done in similar situations in order to work out of the problems.

Remember your success is ultimately up to you. Starting with the right attitude, you initiate the process. Much has been written about positive thinking. Naysayers of positive thinking will often say that it doesn’t work. Well, they are partially right. By itself with no planning or hard work, positive thinking doesn’t work. Napoleon Hill cited 13 key principles for success in his classical work, Think and Grow Rich. A positive mental attitude (seems a bit redundant to me, but that’s another matter I’ll take up with Dr. Hill sometime…) is just the beginning. He has 12 other necessary traits for success. Saying that all you need is a positive attitude is like saying all you need is gasoline to get drive a car. You have to have gasoline --- and at a pretty penny these days!. However, you also have to have a fully functioning car, you have to have a plan to get where you’re going, you have to study the terrain, you have to make changes in your plans as conditions change, etc. etc.

Marcus Aurelius, one of the better Roman Caesars said, “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” Change your attitude --- your estimate of the external pain --- and you can revoke the power it has over you. Yes, we still have to deal with it. But we have control over much more than we give ourselves credit for.

This is not just by shouting and jumping up and down as children in a pep rally. Intelligently assess the situation and determine what you really can do. Be objective and see the situation with an “optimistically realistic” point of view. Then follow Napoleon Hill’s other 12 steps for success.

Psychiatrist M. Scott Peck said it very well when he said, “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” That time is NOW for many. Take the malaise of the situation in many parts and determine to turn it around.

Be a resource for customers that they can’t find elsewhere. Remember, they are also paying high prices at the pump, wondering about their jobs, etc. etc. Become the source of hope and help for others and good will flow to you. Create enough value for others and you’ll never be out of a job.

Attitude really is everything, as Keith Harrell says. To see Keith in a video I shot of him just yesterday at lunch here in Orlando go to and click on the “Terry’s Blog…Latest Update” button. This could be just what you need to break out of any malaise that might be there and spark a new beginning. Remember, attitude is not the end ---- but a necessary initiation for a lot of good ahead.

Terry Brock is an international marketing coach and columnist who helps businesses market more effectively, leveraging technology. He shows busy professionals how to squeeze more out of their days using time-honored rules and practical technology tools. He can be reached at 407-363-0505, by e-mail at or through his website at